|What better way to start a journal than with a late-night rant?
||[Nov. 7th, 2003|02:26 am]
Joshua A.C. Newman
|||||Cliffs-Aphex Twin-Selected Ambient Works Volume II||]|
I have this friend. His name around these parts is lumpley, for some reason (I haven't asked). I met him nigh on 11 years ago now (1992, for those keeping score at home). His (now) wife is one of the first people I met when I went to college. Every so often, over the last decade, I've run into him, or his wife, and been so excited to see them that I've completely forgotten why I don't always hang out with them, logistics notwithstanding.
And here's the reason.
I'm daunted by how good they are as people. They do awesome stuff. They have awesome kids. They say awesome things.
For example, Lumpley writes role-playing games. Now, I write role-playing games my ownself, but not like he does. All the stuff that rolls around my head like marbles in a vibrating bowl, it all lines up for him into one of those cool marble races you see in expensive toy stores, and he writes them down, and then Kenneth Hite gives them positive reviews. I, on the other hand, wrote Hero Factor, an RPG system with some features of which I am fond, and it got buried in its cromulence over the course of maybe 10 games. Now, it's not unsalvageable (I don't think), but it doesn't address a lot of things of which I'm only now becoming aware, which I will deal with in a different post.
I'm not much for jealousy. I understand that that's what a lot of people might feel in a situation like this. I feel like...like I just want to do that, you know? I want to write games that are good, that someone at least writes me hate mail for.